A Message To Readers (if I even have any):

Chances are you happend upon my little page by googling in the toolbar something completely off the wall, and if that was what you were looking for, then you've come to the right place. Be prepared to waste a period of your life away if you graze around my page. You will not get the alloted time back, so I am warning you, I am not responsible.
I write about absolutely nothing at all. There is no importance to it, nor is there anything that will make you brighter. It will, in fact, make you dumb and possibly entertained a bit. I write because it's an outlet. It's fun and footloose and fancyfree. I have grammar and punctuation problems, and you probably have foul smelling body odor or maybe you walk through life with a constant wedgie. Let's play on that and be stoopit.
Beware of foul language and sometimes disgusting use of words.
Can't say I didn't warn ya.
Over and out.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Some such things that you should know about, or feel really dumb for not knowing about these mentionings

First things first.  Before we cut the ribbon and break out the bubbly, I want to thank my awesome sister for showing me that I, too can  blog!  Oh, yes, this is going to be great!  I have been totally stalking her blog page, which is sheer genius in works and I really wanted to join in !  So now, you can learn some more awesomeness and pack your craw with all kinds of interesting facts and such.   Get ready, grab a snickers!  You will be tested at a later date.

Are you aware that after a rainstorm in Haiti, you can smell the dung of an elephant from the San Fransico zoo?  And how would you even know it's the elephant from that zoo in America you ask?  Because the elephants in that particular zoo are fed a peanut from Farmer Buck's peanut farm.  Haiti sends the seeds, Farmer Buck plants them, and then the scent from the elephant's bung transfers all the way back to the homeland.            Well now...you see.    Share that with your friends.   Makes you want a peanut, doesn't it?!   Told ya to grab a snickers.

Many people are born with a second head.  It is smaller than the original mass, and dies off shortly after birth.  The dominant one takes over and learns to feed.   Ask your mother about this.

Looking in your purse for some gum but haven't got any?  Remember this trick from the native lands.  Grab your purse strap.  (Leather prefferably)  break into desired segments of your choice, and chew.  Back in the pride lands, the natives have a great habit of chewing.  It's because of diet....firm, tough meats mean exercising the mandibles.  Your cravings of chewing on something arise when you hear a bongo rythm on your car stereo or such....it's your caveman tendencies creeping up, and needing to satisfy.   If you do not succumb to these tendencies, you will develop caveman jaw over time...my sister might have an article on it in the near future.

Now I know what you must be thinking:  Wow! You are brilliant!  I know.  I can help you with brilliance.  But these things take time, and I am asking you if you are ready to go with me on a journey.  A journey of time and space and sheer stupidity.  For we are vulcans.           And we can fly.

1 comment:

  1. I would like to make a couple comments first:
    I'm SO glad you have a blog too now!!!!!
    Second... THANK you! I will try and continue to impress u with my madness... lol
    THE SECOND HEAD!!!!!!!!

    Lastly... I do see the disease "caveman jaw" coming up soon LOL