A Message To Readers (if I even have any):

Chances are you happend upon my little page by googling in the toolbar something completely off the wall, and if that was what you were looking for, then you've come to the right place. Be prepared to waste a period of your life away if you graze around my page. You will not get the alloted time back, so I am warning you, I am not responsible.
I write about absolutely nothing at all. There is no importance to it, nor is there anything that will make you brighter. It will, in fact, make you dumb and possibly entertained a bit. I write because it's an outlet. It's fun and footloose and fancyfree. I have grammar and punctuation problems, and you probably have foul smelling body odor or maybe you walk through life with a constant wedgie. Let's play on that and be stoopit.
Beware of foul language and sometimes disgusting use of words.
Can't say I didn't warn ya.
Over and out.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Right now

Do you want to know what is going on right now?  That's ok, I'll tell you anyways. 

Right now, a camel is struggling to survive.  Right now, right now at this very moment, a camel is halucinating and at the brink of catastrophe.  A slow suffering to the camel.   These things take time, you know.  The camel is not too lucky today.
It is at it's prisipus.  The shining glory for this single most important camel is fading away.  You see, the camel is going to die today.
Why is the camel going to die?  I will tell you why that camel is definately going to die today.  The camel caused the problem with itself.  So don't feel bad for it.  But the camel, the stupid camel , is going to die today because it did not finish it's task.
The task.  Ok, the bloody task for the camel was simple.  It couldn't even manage it, and it's dying now because of it, so you really, really shouldn't feel bad for it even for a minute.  Good grief, it can't even handle a task.  Now it is killing itself because it was so very dumb.  It has been an idiot!  That camel!! It just pisses me off.
The task was to go to the sanddune.  Just gallantly walk over there, just a mile away, and find the buckets.  The buckets were RIGHT there.  You couldn't miss them.  Well, that camel did! And let me tell you, they were right in his face.  He turned around and looked at me with that stupid face of his and said nothing.  He was just like  DURRR!!!!  And I was like DUHHH!!! So that camel.....that THING that it is, well, he just stood there waiting.  WAITING!!! The buckets were right there.  Seriously.
So an hour after he finally found them, he looked in them.  He was supposed to pick a bucket of his choice, and bring it to the palms.  Well you know about that camel.  That idiot camel couldn't open his mouth.  He didn't know how to.  So he stood there for another 6 hours looking at the buckets.  And the camel and the buckets were there for awhile.  Doing nothing.  I got fed up and went back to do something else other than scream at the camel to do it's task.  I just couldn't take it anymore. 
 It was bedtime, completely dark, and I look out my window, and the bloody camel...that stupid monster is still looking at the damn buckets.  Well, they can rot together!!! I was so angry I almost couldn't sleep, but I ended up sleeping anyways just from sheer exhaustion from the dumbness of the day.  I don't give a rat's butt about that situation out there anymore.
But the next day, it bothered me.  I had tossed and turned all night.  So I decided to go out there and see what all the hubbub was about.  That camel, that dingaling, was still there, still looking dumb as ever.  I sighed a big sigh and tried to regain composure.  This is a camel after all.  Let's get a grip, here.
So the camel finally figured out that it had a mouth after all and started walking to the palms with its bucket.  Just a mile...same distance, same path as when it traveled to the buckets, just this time, it's going to the palms.  The only slight degree of difficulty might have been the tiny slope.  But you had to really crouch down and look at the sand hard to even notice it.  I mean, common!! It wasn't really even there!  What a ninny.  I swear, that camel likes to make up excuses.  The genius's knees completely buckled and it wobbled to an awkward fall and slid down the invisible slope.  THERE WAS NO SLOPE!! There was NOTHING there! What a stupid useless thing!! And it was awkward too when it did that!! I was embarressed for it!  There was no one at all in that entire desert, but I felt so stupid standing next to it when it fell on nothing.
I shoved the useless thing up and demanded it go to the palms immediately. 
By the Graces above, that thing finally made it.
But now it's dying.
The stupid, dumb idiot of a camel is dying now because of the slope.  Personally, I think it's just being overly dramatic.  I think that the camel needs to get over itself.
So it can go on and suffer all it wants.  When it decides it's going to grow up and face the simple task, then we can move on.  But until then, it is dying.  A camel is laying out in a desert right now slowly dying  because it slid down an invisible slope with a bucket and didn't make it to the palms.  It just couldn't do it.  Didn't even want to.  It would have been easier if it just gave me some sort of excuse.  But it is dying now instead.  Dying with a bucket.



  2. Ok Stephanie! Valerie and I read this last night and she couldnt stop laughing! I told Dan about your blog. I swear this is the funniest thing I've ever read! hahahaha

    Ok it is time for you to write again! I want to laugh!